Hmmm

I assure you that many bananas were hurt in the making of this post. Finding myself 5 days into the two week wait I of course decided to bake something my hips definitely don't need. I have this recipe for banana bread that a friend gave me that is the next best thing to sex. Yes its that good. And its a one bowl few ingrediants thing so anyone can do it. Its soft and moist and oh so bananaish. Hungry yet? Heres the recipe:
4 ripe bananas smashed to smitherines
1/3 softened butter (unsalted)
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1tsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups flour

Begin by mixing the soft butter and bananas together in a bowl. Then add your sugar, egg, vanilla and flour in. Mix them in that order, making sure everything is mixed well before adding the next. Then add the baking soda and salt and mix one last time. Toss it into a loaf pan that is either buttered or sprayed with some of that non stick stuff and put it in a 350 degree oven for 55-65 minutes. I find the cooking time depends on the bananas, so start checking it with a toothpick at 55. And try not to eat the entire thing at once. I baked mine today at 3:30 and it is all gone already. No, I didn't eat it all. I only got one piece before my husband and son finished the pan. Shhhhhhh but don't tell them I plan to make one tomorrow too.

Besides trying to add inches to my waistline I am doing well on my knitting project. I am about half way done with my first scarf. I know its not incredibly fancy but for someone who isn't crafty I think its a huge deal. I'm uber excited because when I'm done with the scarf I have some knifty circular needles to try to make a hat with. I'm sure I will end up un raveling a lot of yarn before I get it right but it is keeping me busy. Actually this 2ww isn't hard because I'm not expecting much. I say that now, but in 5 days I'll probably be pacing a trench in my hallway.

I am stunned by the fact that my son is starting first grade. I still refer to him as my baby and that is getting hard to do since he is now reading the bedtime stories to us instead of us reading to him. I am so proud of the things he has learned, but it just seems like it has all gone to fast. And its one of those "by now" things too. When we took him to preschool I thought that by the end of the year he would have a sibling. Or by the time he started kindegarten. Maybe by the time summer started. I definitly didn't picture having a first grader as an only child. As we went out to dinner the other day we seen this woman smoking, pushing a stroller and yelling at three kids trailing behind her. Its hard not to wonder why she can and I can't. People have asked me before why I don't believe in god. That my friends is why. Its not like I was some big believer anyway. But I find that being infertile and a believer is something that doesn't really fit for me. I'm not saying that god doesn't exist. I'm just saying that in my little world I don't see it. I've also never seen bigfoot, but I've heard he exist too.

The O syndrome

I've heard the horror stories of pms but really I'm not bad around my period. I have the exact opposite. Right before I ovulate I break out and get uber bitchy. I'm not sure why but it sucks. Its hard to have sex when your husband is scared of you. Anyway I have an egg to catch.

Sew damn stupid

Today I took on the task of finally figuring out how to thread my machine. Boring I know, but let me tell you after all the time it took to get it right I feel like I accomplished something big today. Not only that but I made a little pocket. Its now holding my sons poker chips but that is another story all together. Tomorrow I plan on trying to hem something and working my way up. Luckily a friend gave me a basket of big scraps to practice on so I don't feel like a total ass trying to figure stuff out on $6/yard fabric. I have seen some amazing fabrics and can't wait until I can walk in a store and actually pick something out that I won't be making practice pockets out of.

Lately I feel a bit something. I can't really describe it because I cannot find the word to fit it. My son is starting the first grade. We wanted to have a child shortly after he was born so that we could have children close in age. Well that really hasn't worked out for us. I still feel that we need a baby to round out our family. Some people we know are not aware that I was pregnant before my husband and I met. And amazingly enough my son looks more like my husband than he does me. Weird but true people. Not quite sure how it happened but I am happy that its that way. So now we come to the point that my husband is almost 40 and has no biological children. Its not that entire passing on the seed thing, its just that he want to experience having a child. Believe me the urge is strong for me too, but I will admit that his feelings have a large part in this too. The entire thing feels odd to me now. It feels almost automatic to grab opks out from under the sink and pee in cups. Sometimes I forget that this is not how the rest of the world uses the bathroom. But also I feel like a change has happened...I feel, dare I say....lucky. Okay lets not jinx it, moving right along.

My boob feels like it might fall off. No kidding, I'm not making it up. For some reason it is unbearable today. I did my monthly breast exam and didn't feel any different or any sore spots, its just a generalized pain. Having lost an aunt to breast cancer I am a bit worried by breast changes but this is nothing but pain. I think I will give it a day or two and decide what to do from there. Mr fatty is hoping this means my boobs will grow some more. They shrunk a bit from the weightloss but lately have started to feel full again. Like a D is anything small. I swear that man is crazy. At one point I shrunk down to a C and I loved it. Finally I could wear a button up shirt without it gaping open. It was shortlived but I did enjoy it.

Time for me to hit the sack, we have a long day at the lake planned for tomorrow.

The one where I get crafty

Now that I have decided to switch my obsession back over to precreating I also need a way to fill that oh so dreaded two week wait. Ugh, I shiver at the thought. Never is life so cruel as to drag on for two damn weeks leaving your brain to short wire and see every bird dropping as a sure fire sign of pregnancy. So I have decided to try and be crafty. In order to help keep me busy my husband has even bought me a sewing machine. I played around and figured out the bobbin thing, but really I think threading the top may be a bit out of my range. No, I'm totally not kidding. I have dreams of making curtains and hemming pants, but it all my be cut short if I can't stop banging my head on the side of the machine and figure out how to get it going. I am an educated woman but apparently no match for a singer.

I am also signing up for a knitting class. I want to make my own socks. Nerdy as it is, its always been a dream of mine. Fortunatly here in portland there is a lot of knitting shops that hold classes so I have quite a few to choose from. I just need a patient teacher. Once I figure something out I'm good, but I tend to cause a lot of chaos on the way. I've heard scarfs are easy so that is where I plan to start. Guess what everyone will be getting from me for christmas? Thats right, scarfs that look like a two year old did them.

I went to the dr and got the big fat okay to start femara. Seeing as this is cd8 it will have to wait until next month and I am okay with that. There was no way I was going back to clomid. I would rather pull my own eyes out and eat them. We are hopeful, or maybe just stupid. We haven't figured it out yet.

Present

I'm here, I'm just working on switching the blog over to my new obsession. I'll have it done today.