
I know I haven't been the most up to date blogger lately but it is that time of year where my mind tends to wonder and I have trouble putting my words together. I guess you could say it is spring fever but to me it feels more like an emotional awakening after a long slumber. My mornings find me more cat like, curling up on the bed in the path of the sun just soaking it all up. I remember watching cats sleep in the sun when I was younger and not understanding why they liked it so much. Now I find a strange sort of comfort in the warm rays.
My thoughts have turned to Ben a lot and I find I miss his company. I know lives move on and blah, blah, blah, but I miss our summer road trips and nights just sitting aimlessly at the park. I guess if we just would have been honest with each other and layed our feelings out there things might have happened differently. But then I probably wouldn't have found my husband and that is just something I can't even imagine. Its weird when you have a relationship that is so strong, yet you were just on the brink of being lovers. Theres always that question there of what if. But I never felt the way he did to be honest. I just adored our friendship but it just wasn't enough. I hope wherever he is now he is with someone who can make him happy. I picture him having a few kids and maybe finally shaving off that stupid facial hair.
Our friendship actually fizzled out when I introduced him to the man who is my husband now. Me and Mr. Fatty were just dating at the time, but I guess been knew I had found the right person for me and he just faded out. I shouldn't have lied and told him I didn't need him anymore. I did, but in a different way. I suppose it would have ended either way. Mr. fatty was fond of Ben too and misses him often. I hope our paths cross again some day.
It is time for me to start running outdoors. I found a nice path around one of the golf courses that is a bit over 2 miles, so if I lap it twice it should be sufficient. I must admit I'm still not a lover of running. I love it sometimes, but more often I don't. About 15 minutes into it I feel great but the first 15 minutes are pure hell on most days. Maybe its the endorphins kicking in that makes me feel alright. I think I need different shoes for the outdoors because my indoor running shoes just don't seem to offer me the support I need when dodging holes, squirrels and golf balls.
This is all gearing up for the fun run this summer. Its part of the rose festival here in portland and is a costume run before the starlight parade. My husband offered to run with me, but has now decided to hold our spot for the parade. Instead my 6 year old son will run with me. Now onto deciding costumes. We need a cute idea that will be comfortable. Any ideas???
Hello. I'm here from Micheles. Very good writing you've got going on here. I'll be back.
ReplyDeleteHello. I visited from Michele's. Nice blog... I stopped to read the whole page.
ReplyDeleteI love the painting you posted to go with your eloquent entry. Edward Hopper, yes? Love his work.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog yesterday.