Remember shortly after my miscarriage I found out my nephew and his wife (I consider her my niece, but not by blood) were having a baby and was due on my due date? I felt so much anger and hurt and honestly like they had somehow taken my baby from me. As time has gone on I have grown to love their little girl, and just recently wondered if their daughter and our son would be close as they were growing up. As my heart has started to heal we have become a lot closer as family, but still in the back of my head I always wondered why they got lucky first. They are young and since I'm 30 and mr. fatty is 40 we aren't exactly hot young things anymore.

Today we found out my nephew has lukemia. He is in his early 20's with a new baby and is scared to death he won't live to see her ride a bike. Family is being tested for bone marrow type, but still it will be a while before we know anything. Now I feel selfish and I am so glad their baby came first. I just can't imagine him not being here.

I guess I should update on the pregnancy too....we hit a bit of a bump in the road, but won't know more for a week or so. My ob thinks I have cholestasis. Yes I freaked out but nothing can be done until we are certain. So for now I itch and wait.

This has been a long week.