Silence

My dreams are mostly quiet. Occasionaly there is some music, but not any talking or background noise. I dream about walking around on the stars and floating in outerspace. Sometimes flying peeks in there too. The last few night have been odd. First I had a dream that some man was shoving crack rocks into my sons mouth. Then this morning I had a dream that we were driving down the coast and were driving an rv or some kind of camper. My hubby and son were in the back sleeping. I could softly hear the ocean, and I started the car. All of the sudden it got really foggy. Next thing I know I jolt awake from how loud the sound of the ocean is. I drove into the ocean. Weird I know, but one of my biggest fears is that I will drive into a body of water. I'm not scared of water, I love to swim but I just can't explain this fear. Living in a city that is surrounded by rivers really makes that suck.

I need a job. I am starting to think that maybe manual labor wouldn't be all that bad. Thats how bad I need to get out of the house and be focused on something besides poop and ttc charts. I think its the everyday socializing that I miss. I am just blown away by women who can be a stay at home mom for years. For about the last year and a half I have really been trying to break out. I have this job lead for a winery that I am going to follow up with tomorrow.

Its beautiful outside right now, I think I'll go watch the sunset with my cats.