white noise

I have finally figured out why most pregnant bloggers fade off for a bit. They are scared shitless. Seriously waiting for the other shoe to drop really sucks. Well that and I must admit there is a part of me that remembers the hurt that can come from reading someones fluffy pregnancy moments. I can't even think of my own without feeling a bit odd. So here I am, totally constipated, feeling like I'm about to hurl, and still bitter. I found it odd that I still feel such hatred for other womens ovaries. I will blame it on horomones, but really I just think that the bitterness of if doesn't go away. Everything else just kind of fades off into the background. At 8w I find no safety in where I'm at right now. I may feel better once I hit 12 w. I did however dream that I went to an appointment and they were able to hear the heartbeat by doppler, and it was loud. REALLY loud.

On to other matters. It is apple season and usually we go pick apples but this year that was a no go. So I bought some apples from the store and they were horrible. Cardboard in an apples body. I was rather upset by this so dh will be spending his afternoon hunting down some decent apples. I'm not a snob (okay I may be...about certain things) but how do people eat unripe fruit????

Halloweener is not too far away. I have mixed thoughts on this. I will miss out on the annual taking the herd of teenage girls to the haunted house and scaring them shitless outing. I went last year but didn't know I was pregnant at the time. Oh yeah, its getting close to that time and I have no idea how I'm going to feel about it. Also, every year I take it upon myself to scare the boys too. Last year I actually hid in the back of a van dressed like a gorilla for 10 minutes and waited until everyone was all setteled in to pop up and scream. The terror on their faces was priceless. Candy was thrown and screams were probably heard in china. I so love the yearly festivities, and will miss them this year. I know I'm baking a little sidekick to help me with future scarings so I am willing to sit this out.

Did I mention I electrocuted myself the other day? Well the stove did actually, which made dh flip out and so our new stove will be here this weekend. YAY. I guess thats pretty much a summary of life in the fatty household right now.