F*#$

I just feel so blah. My son starts school tomorrow. I know it should be a happy occasion and I'm trying to make it that way but its so hard. That means that my baby is a boy. I can't help but think that he may be the only good egg I will ever have. He may be my only baby. And now he's growing up. Its really hard to think about it. I love him so much, and I will be the first to admit that I have not always been a perfect parent but I have tried and now I just don't know what to focus on. Hubby wants to have a baby now. His renewed urge is not really something that I'm ready for. I don't know if I'm ready for an emotional breakdown every time I spot. And lets face it, feeling for your cervix in the morning sucks. blah.