Ass pain

Yesterday we took our first trip up to the mountain this year. The lifts weren't open but we played in the snow park like there was no tomorrow anyway. In some areas the snow went up to my so called waist. When we realised we forgot our sled my son and I took hubby's snowboard and made do. We played for hours. Oh, it was grand. The cold nose and cheeks, ice forming on my hair, the wind whipping my face. And the ass pain, OH the ass PAiN. Climbing up a snow covered hill of death will make you feel pain that is suprising and well, painful. We did have a great time and now I am looking forward to Christmas and the shortly to follow frostbite.

Today I want to be somewhere else. Not anywhere in paticular, just not here. I've eaten all my cookies and I'm still waiting for my stupid period. Spot, spot, spot. I hate it. Is there anyway I could just bleed like a normal woman and get it the fuck over with??????????????? Do I need to push pins into some stupid doll? Dance around a firepit in my yard naked? Take pubic hair samples of me and my husband and send them out to see? WHAT DOES IT TAKE. Sorry about the frustration but this is getting rediculous. My temps are falling so according to good old fashioned charting knowledge I should start tomorrow. I am not counting on it though. I don't like to whine and bitch but you'll have to bear with me today because waiting years for something eats ass.

Every day I take metformin, calcium, b12, and prenatals. I've been taking prenatals for 5 years so that when I got pregnant I wouldn't have a two headed baby or something. I have taken fertility drugs and wished on so many things its crazy. I thought our discussion about adoption helped but apparently it was just my hormones playing games with me. Or maybe it was all the cute babies at the store today. I long to be drooled and spit up on. You know its bad when you look forward to changing crappy diapers again. I am a sick woman.

The very first blog I read was a little pregnant. I'm sure most of you have read it, but the day I found it I spent HOURS glued to my screen until I had read almost all of it. I wonder how many blogs in this great blogsphere have been inspired by her journey. Even though its just words on a page it makes me feel better.

Boy I am just rambling today. Probably because I don't really have anything to say.