My period is late. Not because I am pregnant but because my ovulation date was later due to stress. My husband, thinking he has all the time in the world decideds to have lunch with me instead of sex before he left for work. I told him not a wise idea. And now spot has arrived and so mrs. bitchy bloody should be ringing my doorbell anytime. So now I sit here midly amused about the case of blue balls my husband is going to have for the next few days. Since we are trying to spawn he tries to keep his uh "self sex" to a once a week occurance. I've noticed there is a real trend in women witholding sex when they are trying to concieve. Am I the first to say that unless there is a sperm issue thats just dumb. I wonder if they just don't feel the love anymore. We don't withold because his swimmers are fine. More than fine actually. On average it is every other day but when my egg is looming we shoot for twice a day. My husbands explination for why we keep missing? My egg is hard headed. I didn't think it was all that funny either. I did get a laugh out of telling him his sperm were probably wearing helmets and bibs though.
I'm not sure if I ever shared my husbands sperm sample experience. So I'll just share again. After a few years of trying on our own I sought some help from my ob/gyn. He is a great guy. Dr. M ordered a sperm analysis to make sure that was functioning right first. Why? Cause its cheap and easy. So my husband and I pick up the directions and a cup and head home. The papers said to wait three days after the last ejaculation to give a sample. Well since I had just finished bleeding he had been on hold and asked if he could give the sample then. Only problem? It was close to closing and the bathrooms were being cleaned. He decided to wait until the next day but uh well we didn't make it. Fast forward to next week. We have managed to abstain long enough to get to the mandatory three days. After he provides his "sample" into what I consider a WAY too big cup ( I could have crapped in it and had room left over) he is supposed to have it in the lab 30 minutes later. Well we live 20 from the clinic but factoring in traffic he decided to play it safe and just use the clinic bathroom. I thought I was going to be a grown up about this but for some reason the thought of my husband masturbating in the bathroom was just way too funny. I sat there giggling and trying not to blush. My husband comes out looking like he has really accomplished something great and plops the cup up on the counter. The guy who worked behind the counter turned bright red and pointed to the bag he was supposed to place the cup in and the "private" bin he should have placed it in. The funny part? My husband got a little bit on the outside of the cup. The lab tech really should have been wearing gloves.
Three days later my doctor calls giggling. I assume he has heard things from the lab tech but apparently my husband not only has a VERY high sperm count but an amazing amount of good ones. No double tails, no heads on backwards, no ass faces. My husband as you can imagine is releaved. I was too but in a way it sucked because it ment it was my fault. I don't hate having pcos or being infertile. I have a problem with patience but besides that it has actaully been a great thing for me. Why? Well I take better care of myself. I got off my fat asses and made some changes. Also it opened up a lot of conversations between my husband and I about what we really wanted. Those moments can get rare after you've seen this person scratch their balls for years.
2 comments:
I certainly hope it happens for you soon. Here via Michele.
here i was just talking to someone else about what they would do if they had a handicapped child, all serious like, now i come over here and the first thought upon reading this post is, well maybe he has lots of swimmers, but they have so far been to retarded to figure out which way is up stream. so when one finally figures it out, it will be a good one. callous of me?
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