Damn

Well well well, it seems that my period is well on its way. Oh I knew it was coming and unlike last month I didn't get my hopes up. I don't know why. My chart looked flawless this month but somehow I just knew it wasn't going to turn out that way. I keep waiting for the outburst and uncontrollable crying to start but this time it just didn't come. Maybe it is the cheese poof induced stupor I am currently in. And by the way trader joes makes fabulous ones. My husband suspecting this month was going to be bad brought home the cheese poofs and a tin of almondina bark as a way of making peace before the hurricane started. I made it thru the almondina bark yesterday and I have to say it was pretty good. I don't worry about weight because I don't weigh around this time. I learned that doing so is just plain stupid if you are like me and a slight fluctuation can make you want to run around screaming like you are on fire. I exercised today but more out of frustration than motivation. What am I doing now? Making my way thru a bag of M&Ms. Just keepin it real here.

Today I noticed a few things while I was at the gym. 1. The bitchy girl at the front desk is pregnant (gah) 2. All my weight is still hovering around my middle like a hoolahoop 3. Resolutioners are funny. What is a resolutioner. Well they are the people that resolve a life of fitness every year and then go to the gym for two weeks and then quit. I think it is funny but also a little frustrating because my normally peaceful gym is turned upside down during this time. But anyway what struck me as funny today was the woman in heels ( not kidding!) on the treadmill that seemed to be having a heated conversation with someone on her phone. Yeah thats right, shes a phonie. How can you workout in heels on the phone???? Well considering I could cut a leg off and move faster than her I wouldn't really call it a work out. I have to give her credit though, she did it her way. After what I must admit was a brutal workout I waddle my premenstral butt into the lockeroom and encounter a 118lb girl on the scale proclaiming she was fat. Now most people would chuckle on the inside but mine just wouldn't stay that contained. I guess it is all in how we look at ourselves right? But if your pants size is smaller than your shoe size it should be law that you cannot refer to yourself as a fat ass.

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately and desperately need to update my blogroll. Now that I will be clotting away for the next few days I will finally be able to get it done. What I have noticed is that a lot of us are really making some great progress. I think whoever said most dieters failed obviously wasn't refering to bloggers. I have decided to post some before and after pictures soon so now I am going thru the stacks I have deciding which ones don't make me look so hippoish and will probably put them up next week. My husband says my before should be my motivation picture. I have it on the fridge and it is well the opposite of everything nice. I am a whopping 225 lbs in a swimsuit bending over. Yes people it is my butt in clingy cloth from the must unflattering angle you can think of. If I drink enough before I post the pictures I might just make that the one.