Scatterbrained

Today I was back at the gym giving my feeble attempt at running another try. See by nature I am a bike rider. I can go for miles and enjoy the pain of saddle butt, but running I always have to work at. Anywho, after staying with the bike for a few days to heal my fat thighs I decided to jump back on the good old evil treadmill. Walk for one run for one gave me a thurough ass kicking without leaving me hobbled so I feel satisfied. However I did notice that when I run I cannot focus. I cannot tell you how many things went thru my head in the 60 running spurts. I am amazed at the number of big girls at the gym lately. I hope for their sakes they stay with it but I can already point out the ones who won't. I'm sorry girl in pink shirt but standing next to the stairmaster and fiddling with your ipod for 20 minutes does not qualify as a workout. Oh and the mother daughter team I see circling me like sharks, please, please, PLEASE mom do anything you can to encourage your daughter. She has got to be 100 lbs over weight and calling her fat in the gym doesn't help. And to whoever was besides me today I'm really sorry my deoderant failed me the last five minutes. Really I am.

I finally lost a few lbs and broke thru this stupid plateau. But I must be honest when I say its the farthest thing from my mind today.

As some of you may remember my nephew was murdered last year. For some reason today I kept thinking about him and his family. Not neccisarily about his mother because as she will tell you she has gotten over it and no longer plans to think about it. Its his dad. His father was ruined. I seen him a few weeks ago and its like looking at a ghost. I don't think the expression on his face has changed since that night. I don't understand how a heart can be so broken. I often wonder if the people who kicked, punched, stabbed and thru bricks at him until he died realised the fact that he wasn't who they thought he was before they ran. I wonder if the people who walk over that spot everday know how quickly a life can change. I talked to him a few days before he died about his new job and family, he was doing good and thought his life would only get better. I'm sorry he never had the chance to see what I know would have been a great future. But to his dad, I just really want to say that I hope your heart can begin to heal at some point. We are all here for you.