I was having a good day. Went to the gym, got errands done, and watched a movie. We got a call that my brother in laws father passed away this morning. We knew it was coming, he has had cancer for quite a while. My husband is going to the house tonight to help get whatever needs to be done done. Since he was going over there me and tater tot (ds) decided to grab a quick dinner and rent some movies.
On the way back from the movie store we passed a pregnant girl smoking. Just when you thought it couldn't get worse her husband called her a whore. I wasn't going to let it get to me today. It got mr fatty instead. He's eyes welled up and he just said he didn't understand. It was like opening a floodgate. He talked about having dreams of a baby that looked like him but had my blue eyes and how his heart is aching. He is heartbroken and sad and I cannot fix it. It is starting to haunt him like it does me, and I never wanted that to happen.
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About Me
The story so far
Its long and boring people so here are the highlights
*started ttc 2001
*thanks to weightloss (90lbs) started ovulating regularly 2005
*April `06 HSG...alls good in the hood
*mr.fatty's SA comes back with high numbers, but a lil low on volume
*September `06 start femara
*November `06 BFP!!!!!!
*November`06 miscarriage...so sad
*December `06 back on the femara train
*June `07 femara + IUI #1...great numbers...BFN
*July `07 femara +IUI #2...even better....BFN
*August `07 soy isoflavones + IUI #3...great SA again but timing sucked...holy crap BFP
*started ttc 2001
*thanks to weightloss (90lbs) started ovulating regularly 2005
*April `06 HSG...alls good in the hood
*mr.fatty's SA comes back with high numbers, but a lil low on volume
*September `06 start femara
*November `06 BFP!!!!!!
*November`06 miscarriage...so sad
*December `06 back on the femara train
*June `07 femara + IUI #1...great numbers...BFN
*July `07 femara +IUI #2...even better....BFN
*August `07 soy isoflavones + IUI #3...great SA again but timing sucked...holy crap BFP
11 comments:
Thank you for your kind comment. I am so sorry for your loss too.
I can't believe the support that I have received lately, it is quite humbling, from those I have been familiar with their live and stories, and from new people like yourself. People who have just found me, who have plenty of their own issues going on, but have taken the time to write and offer support. Thank you.
I am sorry to hear of your BILs father too. I hope you manage to support each other at this sad time.
So sorry for your loss. My BIL's father passed away in June to cancer, too. It was a tough time for everyone. I'll keep your family in my thoughts.
I have to admit it's been about a month since I visited your blog last. (SORRY) But I think I found it at the right time again. We are taking a break from IUI's currently and I'm struggling with that. Your posts about your break have been helpful. Thank you!
It's always so hard to realize that the hubby's pain is just as painful as our own.
I am so sorry that you had to see your husband's feelings. It was absolutely heartwrenching for me. Hang in there, for hte both of you will, like always, work it out anf hopefully you come out of the other side with a stronger bond to eachother
You know, I always think I want BigP to more involved and to talk more about how he "feels" about stuff but in reality that would be hard to hear. I'm sorry it is hitting him so hard.
Totally hugs to you!
It's so awful when it starts to hit them - we're so used to being sad ourselves, but dealing with someone else's sadness is worse. Not cuz we dont' want to support them but cuz it just makes us sadder. More real. Ugh.
Sometimes I think their pain hurts more than my own. I'm sorry on both counts for your husband..
and you.
It's harder to watch someone else hurting than to be hurting.
My deepest condolences regarding the passing of your family member.
It really is tough to see our partners treading water like we feel that we are doing so much of the time. I hope that you both find peace in each other during this struggle.
Sorry I'm a little slow in getting to comments.. but I wanted to first thank you for stopping by my blog and offering support.
I'm so sorry for about your BIL's father. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. I'm sorry to also hear that DH is taking it just as hard as you. I think we often don't realize that IF is just as hard on our DH's as us but don't show it as much. Hang in there and I hope you find strength in each other.
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