Welcome to scrambled brainville. I haven't even been able to put a string of thoughts together lately. I'm just so so so something.
Trip went well. Had the talk with mr fatty. You know the one where you decide to go ahead and finish the IUI cycles so you can move on with your life. As it turns out I may not be the only one who has lost the faith for the almighty IUI. To be honest it seems to work for most (if it is going to at all) within the first two cycles. Well we failed both so basicly we are ready to accept our fate and move on if needed. We currently have enough for 1 ivf and two fet saved so now we are just going to sit back and let this journey take us where it may. We even had the "what if ivf doesn't work for us" talk. Yeah that was hard.
See I must explain that mr fattys oldest brother (he comes from a family of 13 kids) has never had kids. No known reason it has just never happened. Mr fatty is now wondering if that will be his life story too. It terrifies him, but not to the point of using donor egg or semen if we find a bump in the road later on. Yes, you heard me. The man who is willing to donate semen, and donate embryos if we do ever achieve our goal is against me using them. Well how am I supposed to feel about that? I believe it is just the fear talking and that if we were ever really faced with that decision that he would decide differently.
Woooooooooah I went totally off topic. So, the point is we are just going to haul ass through these iuis so I can move on. I feel like I'm stuck on a merry-go-round. I would just like to vomit and get off.
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About Me
The story so far
Its long and boring people so here are the highlights
*started ttc 2001
*thanks to weightloss (90lbs) started ovulating regularly 2005
*April `06 HSG...alls good in the hood
*mr.fatty's SA comes back with high numbers, but a lil low on volume
*September `06 start femara
*November `06 BFP!!!!!!
*November`06 miscarriage...so sad
*December `06 back on the femara train
*June `07 femara + IUI #1...great numbers...BFN
*July `07 femara +IUI #2...even better....BFN
*August `07 soy isoflavones + IUI #3...great SA again but timing sucked...holy crap BFP
*started ttc 2001
*thanks to weightloss (90lbs) started ovulating regularly 2005
*April `06 HSG...alls good in the hood
*mr.fatty's SA comes back with high numbers, but a lil low on volume
*September `06 start femara
*November `06 BFP!!!!!!
*November`06 miscarriage...so sad
*December `06 back on the femara train
*June `07 femara + IUI #1...great numbers...BFN
*July `07 femara +IUI #2...even better....BFN
*August `07 soy isoflavones + IUI #3...great SA again but timing sucked...holy crap BFP
7 comments:
I'm with you. I just feel like IUI isn't going to work for us and I'm ready to move on. The hurry up and wait portion is the hardest.
I'm sorry this is so hard. Hugs.
I'm in the same place - we had the chat in the car on the way home about how the IUI not working has awoken this whole new reality that maybe this won't be our saviour. And how will we deal with it if IVF isn't either? Cuz now it not working seems possible too. Fuck this merry go round sucks. If it helps, I'm in it with you. We agreed we want to finish our rounds to really try. Ugh.
Are you considering getting off the IUI merry-go-round earlier than you had planned? It kind of sounds like that's what you want to do. I hope that some treatment brings you peace and a bfp very soon!
It does suck to be in what feels like a holding pattern (aka doctor's protocol). I hope that the very next IUI does the trick and that you can take a wild leap off the merry-go-round!
It is so hard to never be sure of when it is time to move on. I struggle with this all the time, and am now finally moving on to IVF. My thoughts are with you as you try to find where you are and where you want to go. It isn't easy.
Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.
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