Just another wednesday

This is the only picture I've ever found that truly looked like me. Well I have a few more teeth but you get the idea. I made it thru the night without eating everything in sight, although I will admit that my stomach was growling so loud last night. I ate a few orange slices but it didn't help much. The amazing thing is that when I had breakfast today I stopped before it was gone. I was full. Its a new experience for me really. I'm one of those who could eat for hours and not really feel full. I think it was all the abuse my stomach was taking. Now I can actually feel when I'm full.

So I am just sitting here waisting time until I go to the gym. Kind of a lazy day. Taking my husband a picnic lunch at work tonight is pretty much the biggest part of my day today. My son is gross. I know he's a boy and its to be expected and all that. But today after he used the bathroom he came in and bent over and said "Mom is my butt clean". I should have never looked. Oh it was awful. I'm just glad no one was here. I just finally got him to understand why picking your nose isn't really all that great, so now I think we need to work on peoples personal boundries about bathroom related issues.

I have a friend who is pregnant. And I don't hate her. Okay I do but only a little. It only took her three weeks! But I told her its only out of jealousy and it will pass. But I take joy knowing that she is growing bigger as I'm growing smaller. Its not a bitter thing, I just think its funny. I used to have a friend who had 4 kids all by different dads, and she was skinny. She was pretty too. But I don't know what happened to her. Last I heard she was on welfare somewhere out in the boonies of oregon. I wonder what life like that is like. It must be hard to be alone. Don't get me wrong I'm all for womens independance and all that stuff, but its still easier when you have a mate for support. Maybe I should try and contact her, see how her life is working out.

Almost gym time.... time to go put on my tennis ball yellow running shorts. I know they are ugly but they are oh so comfy. Okay and they were on clearence too. I need to get an mp3 player to take to the gym but I'm new to all that stuff so I don't know which one is best. Anyone have any recomendations? Nothing too fancy, just something loud enough for me not to hear my fat flapping.


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Okay its 10 at night and its time to get ready for bed. Mhm, thats not going to happen tonight. I'm busy making some music mixes. What do you guys listen to? My music list looks like I need medication or something. Maybe I do. Probably. Oh while I was at the gym today (trying to ignore the image of my flapping around in the mirror) I mentaly made a list of all the things that do not help me right now:

• That skinny chick two rows up eating while shes on the treadmill
• The guy next to me who can't keep his eyes off her tiny ass
• The smell of someone on the bikes. MY GOD it was bad
• Watching the personal trainers share a bag of doritos

Besides that it was a good workout. I need to take my music thou and I've given up on my discman. Maybe this weekend I will go mp3 shopping. We took my husband lunch today (steak and all sorts of stuff I'm not eating right now) and I was good and stuck to my yummy chicken salad type thingy. While we were eating I started talking about how I want to go back to work..this was the conversation that followed

Me: I found a place that I really like, I think I should apply

Him: Great, but don't forget about our vacation

Me: I didn't, but I can't promise I will get that week off no matter where I work

Him: Okay then, if your hired you can just quit when its time to go on vacation

Me....the biggest eyeroll you've ever seen

See this is the on going conflict. I want to work, and according to our finances I really need to. And hubby seems all on board until I actually have to leave the house. Then its amazing how many reasons he can come up with to keep me at home. He will have to get over this eventually. But I might just relax the rest of the summer. Focus on de flabbing my ass for a bit. MMMmmmmmmmmmmm can't wait until vacation time!