Aug 18, 2006

Sew damn stupid



Today I took on the task of finally figuring out how to thread my machine. Boring I know, but let me tell you after all the time it took to get it right I feel like I accomplished something big today. Not only that but I made a little pocket. Its now holding my sons poker chips but that is another story all together. Tomorrow I plan on trying to hem something and working my way up. Luckily a friend gave me a basket of big scraps to practice on so I don't feel like a total ass trying to figure stuff out on $6/yard fabric. I have seen some amazing fabrics and can't wait until I can walk in a store and actually pick something out that I won't be making practice pockets out of.

Lately I feel a bit something. I can't really describe it because I cannot find the word to fit it. My son is starting the first grade. We wanted to have a child shortly after he was born so that we could have children close in age. Well that really hasn't worked out for us. I still feel that we need a baby to round out our family. Some people we know are not aware that I was pregnant before my husband and I met. And amazingly enough my son looks more like my husband than he does me. Weird but true people. Not quite sure how it happened but I am happy that its that way. So now we come to the point that my husband is almost 40 and has no biological children. Its not that entire passing on the seed thing, its just that he want to experience having a child. Believe me the urge is strong for me too, but I will admit that his feelings have a large part in this too. The entire thing feels odd to me now. It feels almost automatic to grab opks out from under the sink and pee in cups. Sometimes I forget that this is not how the rest of the world uses the bathroom. But also I feel like a change has happened...I feel, dare I say....lucky. Okay lets not jinx it, moving right along.

My boob feels like it might fall off. No kidding, I'm not making it up. For some reason it is unbearable today. I did my monthly breast exam and didn't feel any different or any sore spots, its just a generalized pain. Having lost an aunt to breast cancer I am a bit worried by breast changes but this is nothing but pain. I think I will give it a day or two and decide what to do from there. Mr fatty is hoping this means my boobs will grow some more. They shrunk a bit from the weightloss but lately have started to feel full again. Like a D is anything small. I swear that man is crazy. At one point I shrunk down to a C and I loved it. Finally I could wear a button up shirt without it gaping open. It was shortlived but I did enjoy it.

Time for me to hit the sack, we have a long day at the lake planned for tomorrow.

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