Mar 28, 2009

Spoke too soon

Do you know what happens when you speak too soon? Karma puts a big boot on and nails you right in the ass. I was feeling strangely optomistic after my last post. Sure things weren't ideal, but they were okay. I won't go into to many details because they are awful, but lets just say that there was an attempted stabbing, some hallucinations (scary ones) and an assult of a police officer and medic involved. She's now in the hospital, but they aren't taking it seriously. They keep labeling it as confusion. Its not confusion if she tries to kill you. The drs won't listen to me and I feel hopeless. I fear for my safety and the safety of my children and so for that reason she won't be coming back here. As for where she is going to go I have no idea. I have to walk away from the situation and that feels awful.

Does anyone have any personal experience with schizophrenia or any disorders of that nature? I really think that might be the case but need to know what kind of specialist to bring in.

Mar 24, 2009

Don't look directly at the baby....he's so cute he'll knock your socks off

He's just so handsome its no wonder I have been bitten by the baby bug again. Yes, I was the one who was dragging my heels, but I think I'm about to give in. We aren't trying for a few reasons, the most important one being that I am still breastfeeding and haven't started cycling yet again, the second being Mr fatty. Since his first SA came back so crappy and improved so much after vitamins I decided that he should start up again. It will take a few months, but hopefully we will both be ready at the same time. I think I'm ready but I totally reserve the right to flip out and change my mind at any moment.

As for the sitution with my mother its been tough. She was kicked out of the nursing home because her insurance won't cover it. She didn't have any friends, and none of her family wants her so she is here and I'm her caregiver at this point. She is such a pain in my ass. She refuses to drink water or eat anything besides sweets (she is diabetic) and most of the time doesn't take her meds. I'm just having a hard time. I treat her will respect and compassion but its. just. hard. We don't know how long this will go on so I'm trying to prepare for the long haul. I'm looking into counseling about the entire issue and we'll see how that goes.

Mar 12, 2009

The class of 2008

I cant post much right now due to a screaming baby right now but I'm so glad I can be part of this. Go visit the class of 08

Mar 6, 2009

a lapse in the suckiness

Today all is good. I played with my kids and spent a great evening with my husband. After yesterday (truly the shittiest day ever) it just felt great. I know tomorrow will most likely not be anything like today, but for a just a moment I'm enjoying all the wonderful things around me.