The eve of the big 3 oh

Not much to say. I get the feeling 30 is going to be a good year for me. We are leaving for our getaway shortly. We will be letting our 8 year old in on our little secret. Will update with some pics when I return.


Oh and I recieved the traveling dvd. I will watch it and send it on when I return.

Gobble gobble

Today I did the unthinkable. I watched oprah. Really I just don't get it. I understand the excitement of a panini maker but is it really enough to make you shit yourself? Her favorite things really failed to impress me. Just because she has money doesn't mean she has great taste. That really gets back to the reason I dislike her so much. It seems that she is so condescending to everyone that is not a celebrity. It feels like the worlds biggest douchebag clique if you ask me.

I'm sure you all are getting ready for thanksgiving but since I am boycotting this year all I really need to get ready is a few magazines, some snacks and a comfy pair of jammies. I have no intention on going anywhere or doing anything. I'm going to sit at home and be greatful because right now I am the most greatful woman on earth. This time last year I was still in the shit hole of loss after my miscarriage. It is truly amazing what can change in a year. I am so glad I didn't give up. After years of waiting I finally feel this is our time.

But since I'm not going anywhere and am not cooking I REALLY want to know what all of you are making. Don't worry. Mr.fatty is bringing me back food. Lots of food. Well I take that back. I may make a pecan pie because I really just don't like anyone elses.

I would like to thank all of you. The support is just amazing. Its not like in real life where I have to watch my tongue. Here I can say what is on my mind. Every single time I have hit a rough spot its like the calgary comes riding in to help me make it through another day. So to all of you a big thank you.

Also while your at it, what are you thankful for?

Nada

I've gotten a handful of emails asking what I was up to. I can sum it up in two words. Not much. My days are a blur with the price is right and fig newtons. Occasionally I actually put clothes on and go do stuff, but I'm really starting to feel that brushing ones hair can be highly over rated. We still haven't told anyone so besides mr fattys golfing and all of you in here no one knows. I'm in a sort of hibernation until the 18w scan. Yes, its only 3 weeks and a few days away.

I did however get clearance to swim a few times a week so last week I journeyed back to the gym on family swim day and let me tell you it felt fantastic. I was a bit envious of everyone on the elipticals. They were there getting toned and I was floating around feeling my arms get flabbier by the second. So what did I do? Retail therapy of course. I actually ordered a maternity swim suit so I would no longer have that sausage stuffed into a way to small of a casing look. It should arrive today or tomorrow and I'm hoping me and my bat wings will be way more comfortable.

Thanksgiving is right around the corner and so is something else. Now I'll tell you guys but please don't tell anyone else. On the 30th I will be.....30. Funny thing is right now I'm not scared of the big 3 0 . I am however not making a big deal about it because there will be no big party this year. Instead mr.fatty is taking me to a nice hotel and treating me to some spa treatments. I'm so excited. Did I mention I love that man? Mmmmmmm back to thanksgiving. I will be skipping it this year for two reasons. One...I'm getting round and am not ready to make the anouncement...two...its at his sisters house and I just don't want to go. I am going to rent movies and wait patiently for my turkey sandwich.

Speaking of love......we have not had sex since the bfp. We probably won't have any until around my due date either. With all the bleeding issues we just aren't willing to chance it. Its very odd for us not to be sexual. It really does shine a different light on marriage. When we met we were together almost 6 months before anything physical happened and it reminds me of that time. Dinners out together are spent enjoying each others conversation without any kind of sexual tension at all. Tomorrow night is movie night and I don't even have to shave my legs.

so thankful for fridays

So I thought I would get up and post and read a bit while mr. fatty is playing golf. He is taking this rest up and don't do anything strenuous a bit too far, but I know its out of love. Thank you for all the comments and support. I am going to try to catch up on commenting this week. I'm reading, but haven't been able to return all the comments yet.

Well tuesday marks the second trimester for me. Yeah, thats a big milestone. Except for one thing. They have always said that spotting/bleeding is pretty normal in the first trimester and won't be too concerned until it occurs in the second. Hrm....I am indeed walking a fine line here. While the red bleeding has stopped I am still spewing forth an impressive amount of brown and blackish goo. My dr wants to see me tuesday and if things aren't clearing up in there I guess I'm going in for a pretty detailed u/s. Yeah yeah yeah. I know I once said that unexplained infertility was the worst thing ever. I am totally taking that back. While it does suck, the only thing that sucks more is unexplained bleeding in pregnancy. Is it sad I'm getting used to it?

Okay other things.....as soon as any of you get a bfp let me know. I will send you a bottle of colace. It will be your best friend.

Also rent a doppler. So worth it. I think it is what keeps me from losing my mind. Just this morning I was amazed at the little heart beating away in me. I was also a bit concerned because it sounds like there is some major construction going on too.

Halloween was fun.

Okay I've just got to get down to what is really bothering me. I was pregnant this time last year. I miscarried on the 6th. Its messing with my head. But really is also makes me wonder what changed. For 5 years we had no positives at all. Nothing. We tried so many things and timed it so well. But something had to have changed because I've been pregnant twice in the last year. So I want to know what it was. After so long why the sudden change?

So those are the things that keep me up at night. I'm going to start posting regularly next week. I really appreciate all the support. It makes me feel like maybe I'm not so crazy afterall.