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I never thought I would reach this point. Ever. But I'm starting to become a tad bit more comfortable. My dreams have gone from being dead baby dreams to breastfeeding and stinky diaper dreams. Beyond that I find that the doubts about this pregnancy are starting to remain in the back of my head and only forcing their way forward about once a day instead of being the only thing on my mind.

I should update about the u/s too. Little fatty decided to cooperate and not only showed all his spine, but just simply would not be still. We are talking flips, rolls, punches and kicks. The tech was nice enough to keep scanning and let us watch for a bit. I've seen my chart and the ones from the beginning to about 14 weeks are just full of spotting and bleeding. But whatever reason she chose to let us watch a bit longer than normal I accept it and am so greatful. Little fatty did do the customary legs up and open shot so we did get absolute confirmation that this little one is packing a penis.

Did I mention we are not having a shower? It's really pissing a lot of people off too. I may be getting more comfortable with the entire pregnancy thing, but I'm still not comfortable enough to throw a party for a baby that isn't here yet. We are having a big party after the baby is bornwhich we will combine it with the traditional buddhist celebration. We aren't buying anything beforehand either. Gasp! Well we are going to get a car seat and a few outfits, but nothing else. Mr. fatty and middle fatty (our 8 year olds new nickname) will go out and do the shopping for little fatty. They are excited to go out and do this. Mr.fatty said it makes him feel more involved since the moms are the focus during pregnancy and birth.

Thats really it. Life is pretty dull in the fatty household right now and I'm loving it.

Screw google

So tomorrow @ 7:30 is another scan. Today I called the clinic to recheck my afp results just to make sure I had nothing to worry about. Risk of downs was less than normal, risk of nueral (that is probably spelled wrong) defects was not elevated. So why the hell wasn't it less than normal too. Being the idiot I am I started to google normal afp results and spina bifida. The obvious down side to that was being caught off gaurd by pictures of post mortem babies with spina bifida, but also seeing that certain types are not routinely caught by the afp screening. I'm still terrified that something is wrong. Its hard to believe he is that stubborn already. I so desperately need him to turn so we can view his spine tomorrow. I'm stepping away from the computer now before my head explodes.

And the winner is.....

For stubborn fetus of the year.....

The fatty family fetus.

Oh yes, did I forget to pop in and mention that at the u/s last week he was sound asleep? We are talking bear in the middle of winter type sleep. He just wouldn't budge, let alone flip over and let us see his spine. We go in again on thursday. Wish us luck.

Now I have a confession to make. Even though my friends think I'm nuts I have to admit I truly love having kaiser insurance. I know that not everyone has great experiences with them but I have. Whenever I felt off, spotted, or started bleeding there was no hesitation to do whatever it took to put my mind at ease. And may I add that my midwife is one of the few that understand why I just cannot relax until I hit the 28 week point. She understands in my mind that there is a huge difference between being pregnant and bringing home a baby.

Not much else going on will report back after the u/s on thursday. Wish us some spine viewing vibes.

The 5 day wait

5 more days until round two of flip the baby. I've found that applesauce and or orange juice makes him go nuts so I plan on going in full loaded. I'm hoping that he will cooperate and show us the other view of his spine so I don't have that weighing on the back of my mind.

As for new years, I have no resolutions this year. Mine have always been weight or fertility related and so this year I'm taking a breather. No expectations. What I can tell you is that I am so happy 2007 is done.

Besides that all is quiet in the fatty household. The only exciting thing has been my episode with the epilator, but really who wants to hear about that?

I'm thinking of starting a password protected off shoot of this blog that has pictures and such so that I can post them, but still feel like its not all out there for the world to see. I will probably get it going the next time my lovely insomnia hits.

I hope everyone had a great holiday season.