I got my last negative this morning. Our 7th and final IUI failed. It is really over and now I find myself just completely lost. Its like going 120 mph to a complete stop in just a matter of seconds.

Cycle failed. Waiting on the next one. Story of my life.

The good, the bad, and all the shit in between

Period finally showed. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Dr. forgot to send over my clomid. Booooooooooooo!

Starting metformin back up and hopefully this cycle will be short. Yaaaaay!

Mr. fattys cholesterol is up. Dr is recommending meds, which according to my research can result in up to a 39% increase in abnormal forms. Yeah. That doesn't even get a boo.

We are deciding on what to do now. I asked the dr for the straight facts on mr. fattys risk of heart attack if we keep using diet and exercise during the summer and hold off on meds until September. I've got to to honest. I feel angry that he didn't really follow his diet or exercise program.

Another bad? I'm shedding hair. I think beyond the point of normal.

Trying to find more good in this week. I feel like I've been a bit of a Debbie Downer lately.

le sigh

The last few months my periods have been fairly regular. So of course since I'm waiting on my period to start its no where to be seen. Its not a matter of pregnancy, its a matter of my body just refusing to cooperate with anything. Its like running uphill on ice. I will only wait one more week and then jump start with progesterone. Sigh...

How to get over yourself

I am always responsible with money. We save at least 25% of everything. I like to be prepared financially for whatever rolls our way. The last few months have been different. Mr fatty talked me into letting loose a bit. So where did our adventures take us. Well first of all we started off barelling about a million miles an hour down this thing. This is the tornado. Its nothing but huge drops, tons of water and speed. I'm pretty sure he was trying to scare the blues right out of me. And to be honest it worked. Its hard to think about anything when your hanging on for dear life and screaming like the world is ending. Seriously so much fun.























And then I bought a car. Picture omitted because I haven't gotten around to taking it but I am in love with it. So what do you do with a new car? You pack it up and head here.




















and do things like this




















and play poker but to protect the losers I won't show pictures of them crying. I wiped them out. Somewhere along the way I did start to feel better. It was nice to have fun for once. Maybe I should take that as a sign to let it all go more often.

As for the entire baby making thing my cycles are somewhat regular but its not a strong ovulation. Lazy ovaries. I'm on cd 16 and start clomid next cycle. The first clomid cycle is really to see if I respond to it. Then of course we make the decision of where to go then. Dr is thinking two medicated cycles (the first being the clomid) and then into medicated IUI. I'm really going to try not to obsess. Hah.

129 days

Its not often that I am left wordless.

The last few months have been hell. I rolled into a depression that was just so mind numbing it left me unable to do much of anything. I knew it was coming but usually I can resist the pull.

I am crawling out.

Day by Day.

On some days its hour by hour.