PSA

I'm coming out of my fog for a moment. I just wanted to say everyone should go sign the petition for premature babies. Go ahead, it will only take a moment of your time. Just click that little pink button on the right. I know I am greatly blessed that our son arrived safe and healthy and there is not a day that I'm not thankful for it. Okay psa over. I must go shower the spit up and mum mum off of me.

Circle time

Well this is my first time taking part in

Mel's Show and Tell and at first I wasn't going to, but after seeing this on my fridge I just had to. My fridge is forever cluttered with various things but every once in a while something makes me pause. Over the years many messages have been scrawled across our fridge, some anouncing a baby, some accusing others of cutting the cheese, and of course praise for jobs well done. I know its not terribly exciting but it i one of my favorite things. So come on now, go visit mel and post something and go visit others.

Holiday dreaming

I'm not sure what has me in the mood but I am doing some serious holiday dreaming. Maybe its the turkey in the crockpot....maybe its the cold weather, or maybe I'm just excited for B's first christmas. (By the way if you want to try making dinner in the crockpot check out this lady for some fantastic recipes.) We have asked everyone to keep gifts modest this year not only because he's so small and needs so little, but we are teaching our oldest the value of money. We will buy each a big item they really want, but would like the rest to be more conservtive. And lets face it, 6 month olds really like wrapping paper more than toys.

When we dug ourselves out of debt we made a promise to ourselves not to do it again, which isn't always easy. Mr fatty has been DYING for a new tv for a long time. It would be so easy to put one on credit, but we hold off and put money aside for it. I know we are teaching our oldest a valuable lesson about money, but sometimes being responsilbe sucks. The only money we owe right now is on the house, and we are determined to have it off our back within a few years too. I know, its a crazy idea but with no car payment and no credit card/loan debt I feel it is reasonable. Interest is my enemy. But really why I went into this entire subject is that christmas is totally different for us now. It used to be all about the gifts. Now its about the home made cinamon rolls and hot cocoa, a mid day movie in our pj's, playing boardgames and going to visit family. Yes the presents are fun, but so is the rest of it. Its amazing how family became the focus once money left the picture. So my question to all of you is what are you looking forward to this year? What are your most valued traditions?

The things that keep you up at night

I just typed about a gazillion words about my marriage. And then deleted them. When I look back at this I don't want to remember my issues with something that happened a long time ago, is probably not that big of a deal, and something I can't change. Instead I want to remember this morning. Something as simple as a kiss and I love you in the shower makes me know we can make it through this. I love you honey and I know we can be okay again. This is my hangup and I need time to heal, and we know that can be a slow process so try to be patient. We are worth it.

B takes over

Hi people, B here to blog for mommy tonight. I'm teething which means I have been alternating between crying my eyes out and flooding my diapers with poo all day. Right now she's sneaking a glass of wine and gathering her thoughts. I'm big now. 6 months on the 15th and 20lbs. I'm scooting and trying to crawl with all my might which makes mommy cheer and freak out all at the same time. She's working hard on keeping all important things out of my way and securing anything heavy. This is a good time to remind other mommies to make sure to secure bookshelves and tvs! We CAN tip them over and the results aren't good. I have other interest too. I like to stick everything in my mouth, pull hair, splash water, sticking my fingers in others eyes and noses, and tear paper to shreds. I'm sure this will be over soon and she'll be back to say hi. I should go, its time to eat. Mmmmmm boobies.

Eh

Wow it has been a while huh? I cannot believe time has passed so fast and I have to admit this break I took has been good for me. And I just really haven't had the time. Anyone who has kids and blogs is amazing to me because I still haven't mastered the entire kids and showering everyday thing yet. Our little nugget is growing so fast. He's trying to crawl and has already started cutting his bottom two teeth. And he's just shy of 6 months! So if you wonder where I was I was enjoying all the baby hood I could because I'm very aware this may be the last time I experience it.

We've also been working a lot on our marriage. I don't know if I blogged about this before but we hit a major roadblock. No, neither one of us were unfaithful. It was just a lie way back when we first started, but when it came up again it made me question the entire foundation of our marriage. I lost a lot of trust in him and felt like he didn't respect me at all. It has been an uphill battle since then, but we are chugging along. Its funny how something that seems so small at one time can threaten come back and threaten the happiness of a family. I so don't feel like going into it tonight but I can pretty much garauntee (is that even spelled right) it will be a topic on this blog soon.

I'm also still batteling my weight. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't losing anything until I added up how many calories I ate a day. I'm lucky I'm not 800lbs right now. I eat when I'm upet so it kid of works into everything else. I managed to make it through the post partum landmind without losing myself in depression like I did with my first, but I did get stuck in a few potholes. It was hard to blog about because I felt so selfish being depressed about motherhood, but I am feeling stronger now. Hopefully I can keep my face out of the brownie pan too.

I am back, and feel like I need to post regularly again. It will be good to buzz around and catch up on everyone.

I know it isn't the best picture, but its hard to get a great angle when you only have one arm in use. This little ball of love came barelling along on the may 15th. I was finally induced after a few more kidney stones and just for good measure some suddenly high blood pressure. My labor was 10 hours and thank god I had an epidural for the last 45 minutes. Back labor blows. Seriously.

He was a whopping 8 lbs 14 oz and 21.5 inches at birth. He lost quite a bit due to being jaundiced, but was able to gain it back in no time. He will be 4 weeks tomorrow and weighs 10 lbs 7 oz, and is 23 inches long. Yep, we have a grower here.

Breastfeeding has helped me shed the baby weight pretty quickly and 30lbs are already gone. I feel like the last 10 will probably be a bit harder to get off. Oh and a note for everyone fixing to have babies....lactation consultants are your best friend. Use them. Love them.

To me it all still seems like a dream. I love him so much I just can't even put it into words. Its hard to believe this little one is finally here. There just aren't any words to describe what an amazing feeling this is. Suprisingly it has finally made mr. fatty feel the impact of our miscarriage. He went through a small period of mourning for the child we didn't have, and is now fully in love with the one that loves pooping everytime we remove his diaper.

I haven't been on much because I find this dark little room in the back of the house depressing. Its to quiet and stale. Part of my mission to ward off ppd has been to keep myself in a good place and part of that has ment spending a lot of time outside or camped out in the living room in front of the big windows. It has also been helpful to let my husband know how I'm feeling. Granted it can change dramaticly within minutes, but its still helpful. I feel like I've avoided the abyss I fell into last time. Mr. fatty is getting me a lap top and the house wifi ready so I can be in different areas of the house. Of course its not just for blogging purposes, it seems that bills and many emails have been neglected since I've boycotted this room. I will be on a lot more once I have the freedom to roam.

I'm off again. I will be back soon. Thank you all for all the support and well wishes. I never would have made it without them.

Best laid plans

I keep losing post!

He has arrived, hopefully this will show. Detailed post and pics coming as soon as this stupid site is fixed.

The elephant in the backseat

Forgive me all for the lack of post and comments but I'm still on borrowed a friends computer and just really don't have a lot of time to do anything at the moment. Dsl repairs are supposed to happen this week so lets all keep our fingers crossed. I'm getting caught up...just really slowly.

Sooooooo. We have completed all the classes and such and on Sunday went on the birth tour. Everything came to a screeching hault when the tour guide asked us all about our carseats. Hrm. Talk about being put on the spot, and getting slightly embarassed. So after the tour mr.fatty and I went into that babystore. You know, the big one that is all baby all up in your face. After much feeling and fabric discussions we picked one and off we went. It was okay when it was in the box, but something changed when we took it out of the box and he installed it. Now everytime I get in the car its like a 5 point harness rear facing elephant staring holes in the back of my head. I'm an emotional turtle and so it will take me a while to adjust but I will get there. Mr.fatty reminded me not to take too long because in less than 3 weeks the backseat elephant will have a passenger. SHIT. Could I really be that close? Well since I was starting to dialate at my last appointment and I have been losing bits of plug here and there I assume it is true.

I'm still working on a picture post, but am hesitant to sticky up my friends computer with useless pics so I will wait a few more days.

Off to try to catch up on some comments.

Are we there yet?

So sorry for the silence. It all started with the simple urge to get a new rug. It ended up with tearing out the living room walls, and in the process somehow totally destroying my dsl connection. Mr. fatty swears he didn't do it on purpose. So now I'm on the lengthy waiting list to have a hand dandy service man come out and fix it up. The house, however, looks fantastic. We remodeled the living room, guests room, and part of the garage. As you can tell its dangerous to have a nesting woman around and no nursery to focus on.

The pregnancy is going well. Had a bit of a scare and took a lovely trip to labor and delivery, but it just turned out to be two massive kidney stones. I swear I will never laugh at someone who has kidney stones again. Passing those was like having a volkswagon driven through my side. We have completed our childbirth classes and feel about as prepared as we can be.

I will be back as soon as I can with some pics of the new place.

Remember shortly after my miscarriage I found out my nephew and his wife (I consider her my niece, but not by blood) were having a baby and was due on my due date? I felt so much anger and hurt and honestly like they had somehow taken my baby from me. As time has gone on I have grown to love their little girl, and just recently wondered if their daughter and our son would be close as they were growing up. As my heart has started to heal we have become a lot closer as family, but still in the back of my head I always wondered why they got lucky first. They are young and since I'm 30 and mr. fatty is 40 we aren't exactly hot young things anymore.

Today we found out my nephew has lukemia. He is in his early 20's with a new baby and is scared to death he won't live to see her ride a bike. Family is being tested for bone marrow type, but still it will be a while before we know anything. Now I feel selfish and I am so glad their baby came first. I just can't imagine him not being here.

I guess I should update on the pregnancy too....we hit a bit of a bump in the road, but won't know more for a week or so. My ob thinks I have cholestasis. Yes I freaked out but nothing can be done until we are certain. So for now I itch and wait.

This has been a long week.

Today is brought to you by the letter

Yes, v as in viable. Believe it or not this was not the first thing on my mind. It was a call from the nurse that reminded me. She called to ask how the diet was going and to remind me of this important milestone. Have I mentioned I love my nurse?

I've been doing okay on the diet front. I lost 5 lbs almost instantly, but they said to expect that. I do feel craploads better. The only thing I miss is juice, and I suppose I can go 12 weeks without that. I suppose I should call and set up my childbirth class and hospital tour times. I'm still just dragging my feet. Two couples we are really close to are due around the same time I am and BOTH have their nurseries completed already. As they sit and talk about what kind of soap they used to wash everything I just kind of stare off into space. The showers are coming soon too. I really wish I knew if this feeling of shell shock is normal. Don't get me wrong. I am totally in love with this little boy already. I know he will be a night owl like his mom and judging by how much he moves during conan I'm guessing it will be one of his favorite shows too. But still. Its like my brain totally disconnected the idea of pregnancy= baby.

Speaking of pregnancy things that might be taboo....I don't know if I ever mentioned I had a pretty severe battle with ppd after my first. I always thought it was due to the fact that I was alone and unprepared, or that I had to go to work almost immediately or starve. But as I get closer I wonder...was it hormonally related? How do you prepare yourself for this? Maybe I'll ask mel to mention it for me. I'm sure I can't be the only one..right?

Quickie

Just a quick post tonight.

I've known since yesterday that my 3 hour gtt didn't go well. I only passed each hours (and fasting) cut off by one point. My dr is putting me on the gd diet and I will get my monitor next week. I'm also anemic. So why didn't I say anything? I was waiting until I had eaten my ritual valentines day chocolates. We are going out for dinner tonight and tomorrow I will have to gag down eggs for breakfast instead of my beloved cereal. I hope the diet (and iron supplements) will make me feel better because truth be known I've felt pretty crappy for a few weeks. Anyway I will deal with all that tomorrow. Tonight its all about the chicken.

Happy valentines day to all of you!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and I know I have a lot of comment catching up to do. I plan on doing it tomorrow when I am crawling my way through sugar withdrawl.

And now for a celebration of a different type

Have I ever mentioned that when I met mr fatty he was not all that responsible with money? And that he had a mind boggeling amount of debt? We have been paying it off forever. Today I am happy to say I just got done making the last payment. Yeah THAT last payment. We don't owe anyone anything. We are completely out of debt. If I could drink this would be totally toast worthy.

Double digits

Well we have less than 100 days left of incubation. To say I'm starting to feel a bit anxious is an understatement. We have renovation plans all laid out and are just waiting for the rain to lighten up a bit so we can get started. Well not we. Mr fatty and his golf buddies will be doing all the work while I will be in a suite at a local hotel reading tabloids and soaking in the tub. I know I know, it will be hard but I'll just have to suck it up and give it a try. I heard the hotel has massage therapist who do prenatal massage too. I might just have to give that a try too.

So it seems like the fatty fetus is keeping itself busy by trying to kick its way out of me and messing with my husbands head all at the same time. I can sit on the couch or lay in bed and the fatty fetus will just be rolling and bumping along but as soon as my husband lays a hand on my belly he goes totally still. What I can't figure out is how he knows its mr. fattys hand and not mine. Now mr. fatty did manage to sneak up on him the other morning and feel ONE kick. Yes one measly little foot jab. Before that you could watch my belly jump with movement. Hmmm. It truly is a question for the great minds to ponder isn't it?

I have to do the 3 hour gtt again on monday. Can you feel the excitement? We are skipping the one hour all together and just going for the gold. Mr. fatty will be coming with me so we can play cards and take turns jumping on the scale to see who has gained the most during this pregnancy. He has gained 20, but what he doesn't know is that I have gained *cough* thirty some odd*cough* ..... Having lost 90 lbs that sucks. Its a third of what took me a year to get off. I eat well, I just think going off the met and being on pelvic rest ( so no exercise ) blubbered me out.

Eh, time to go eat...