Since I have started this journey I have lost a total of 48 lbs and 21.5 inches. Sometimes it doesn't feel like much until I lift something that weighs 50lbs. No wonder I was so bitchy. I have to be honest when I say that since I have dropped below 200 I don't weigh myself as religously but I'm down to about 190. 35 more to go and well. I don't know what after that. Recently I have been greeted by my don't you look great's and oh you are so lucky to have it drop off like that's. Bull shit. I worked hard. I have also been hearing a lot of I have tried everything and it just won't come off. No you haven't my friend. But Allan has. He has lost a person and is still going. I find it hard to believe that someone could try the post gastric bypass regimine that he did (without the surgery) and not lose a single pound. Its all about accountability people. That is what has made a difference to me. And getting off my ass. That helped too.
With my body starting to return to normal and my hormones leveling out I've stumbled across the realization that after all these years of trying to get pregnant it is now a true possibility. Then it sinks in that pregnancy = weight gain. Now I'm not the vainest creature you will ever meet but I have worked hard and the thought of my stomach stretching uncontrollably bothers me a bit. I am trying to find a balance. We have wanted this for so long. I guess its like winning a car or something. You dream about it for so long and then when it really does happen its well, weird. I am enthralled but leary of a pregnancy right now. Does it sound selfish that I would like to lose 20 more lbs before giving my eggs free reign? I just don't want to go over 200 ever again. If I got pregnant now I would. At 170 I would be able to not worry so much and I think have a healthier pregnancy. This would all be so much easier if my husband would not tear up every time he sees a baby. On the home from lunch today we stopped and bought a megabucks ticket just for shits and giggles and he looked me dead in the eye and said he would rather have a baby than a million dollars. Well shit. I might for the first time ever avoid sex during ovulation. Anyone who has spent years trying to find the exact moment to be spermified understands how hard that will be. Now I'm off to throw away more fat clothes.
4 comments:
Michele sent me your way, Fatty Pants. You might have to change the name of your blog if you lose a lot more weight. My girlfriend is around the same place as you. She's lost 35 lbs and under 190 now. She just hit size 16 pants again--though only some brands--and she's thrilled about that.
I admire your courage in pursuing this journey. I've never had to worry about my weight - beyond trying to keep it ABOVE rail-thin territory (I have a horridly active metabolism, and I ride my bike and walk everywhere) - but whenever I see someone who is, I am in awe.
I have no doubt you'll hit all your targets - both weight and family. You deserve no less.
Here from Michele's.
You have to do what's best for you. I hope you acheive all your goals. I just lost 27 lbs myself and it's no easy task.
BTW here via Michele :)
Good job on the weight loss! I have been trying to lose 10-15 lbs for about a year now.. Don't think it's going to happen! lol
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